Monday, November 17, 2008


Well here are some more of my pointless movie reviews.

Definitely, Maybe:
Yes I know this is a chic movie, but I did watch it and I watched it alone. I have no reason, or excuses. Its more than predictable, depressing and you figure it out immediately. I have nothing more.

Wizards of Gore:
This was disappointing, the story got boring fast and the gore wasn't all that good. The one thing that attracted me to it was Bijou Phillips and the Suicide Girls. Phillips doesn't even get naked, now after bully I think she should do xx in every movie. The suicide girls they picked for the movie were not the best, although they did do some full nudity. The "1920's" aspect of the movie made it boring for me, plus it was hard to gather if it was real time, post apocalyptic or just some alternate world.

The Secret:
Probably the weirdest of the movies I watched. So this guy's (David Duchovny) wife and daughter are in an accident, at the hospital they both die, well apparently god messes up and puts the wife in the daughters body instead of heavan and the daughter is caught in limbo. It takes a couple of days for David to believe his daughter/wife that its his wife in the body of his 16yr old daughter. Once this happens so begins the ackwordness of mother getting to see what bad things her daughter does and well David having a wife with needs and umm a no moral standard. The wife seems to forget she is in the body of their 16 yr old daughter and she continualy asks her husband to destroy it. Since David has a problem having sex with his daughter, the wife starts living her life and flirts with screwing high school boys. At one point you feel bad for David and say just fuck her and get it over with, then you think, maybe not thats gross. I figure it this way, he screws her and lives his life, grows old and dies. At the pearly gates well talking to the bouncers he tries to explain that god did this to him and gave him his wife back, he had to make the decision. God sits behind the gates, laughing and wispering to the bouncers "tell him to leave, I would never do that, he's sick, hehehehehe". So David heads down to hell and meets directly with Satan, satan does that because he likes face to face interaction. In my story satan is played by Cheech Marin, so read in your best Cheech voice. "Oh man thats fucked you mean he did that to you? Man I dont know what to say, I mean I would do it, but you? HAHAHA, man that is twisted, you one sick man. Tell you what grab the train to purgatory and let me talk to Jesus, so what we can do"

1 comment:

Mother Firefly said...

I watched Definitely, Maybe. You're right, no big surprises, but I as a female cannot resist the boyish charms of Ryan Reynolds. Sigh.

Dangit! about Wizard of Gore. Sad to say I am gonna watch it anyway. I have to since it's a remake of an H.G. Lewis film.

I saw the Secret too. I thought it started really good and then kind of fell apart towards the end. I like your new ending with Cheech Marin much better. In fact ending a lot of movies with Cheech would probably make them at LEAST 15% better.